In September, I broke up with my 5-year University.
I was expecting from her things she couldn't offer, she was always thinking I should get more involved. We were fighting all the time. I had even spent time online checking other Universities' profiles (even though things never actually got real, don't you worry!)
We tried to take some distance with the whole situation over the summer, but it was too late, and shortly before our anniversary, I decided to end it up.
Honestly, it's for the best!
Taking a break wouldn't have worked. We had tried it before: I went frolicking with a cute British campus for a whole year... Exeter! A dream-like suspended year.
When I came back I was even more demanding and critical, and she was even less ready to offer me the support, the cosiness, the motivation that I need. And I couldn't help making comparisons with sweet Exeter. Mmm... Exeter...
So here we are. Our plans to go through a PhD together, to work hand in hand for the teaching training programme, to spend joyful afternoons sneaking to the library will never come true, but the decision feels right.
I reckon she is a bit angry at me though. I mean, I did in fact walk out without an explanation, but all our past conflicts should give her a clue as to why I left. She won't give me the marks she still owes me. I have tried to find a neutral ground, like a web site where she could publish the marks and I could go and check them. No confrontation, no direct communication needed.. perfect! Only she won't... I'll have to resort to going to see her, but I really don't feel like it. Maybe I'll go in the morning, when, in the early lights, she'll still be too sleepy to notice me.