Hearing the dreadful wintery word, we start shivering with remembered pain and apprehension, as if thinking of it was enough to make it happen; scary images of an intense relationship with our bathroom and affairs with our bed haunt our minds... Gastroenteritis!!! Vade Retro Satanas!!

But this is a rather unfair judgement we pass onto this form of modern witchcraft... Gastroenteritis can be loads of fun..

First of all, it takes us into an unexpected exploration of our body. We discover the twists and turns of our bowels, we learn about the timing of the different steps of the digestion process, we are reminded of the exact location of our stomach, we are realise that our body is, indeed, three-dimensional, and that, making the most of it, it firmly planted the small intestine in a place where we would have imagined kidneys.

Besides, it allows us to go back to essentials, encouraging meditative asceticism. There is nothing like eating plain rice and unsweetened yoghurt exclusively for a whole week to prompt up a deep reflexion on our condition of whimsical consumers.
Our relation with our direct environment is also altered. It's the perfect occasion to get back in touch with our sofa, which is more than ready to welcome our horizontality! And, lying there, head tilted in an unusual position, we can finally read the edges of all the books that decorate the shelf. We never go any further than the edge, though, because after two pages, the eyes just fall off, but then is the time to make peace with the child in us, and to realise that two-hour afternoon naps after late morning snoozes aren't the privilege of toddlers.

But, above all, gastroenteritis is a form of body art. The skin becomes a rainbow against the depressing greyness of December. Look at that translucent and immaculate shade of white your face takes on! But then, a little temperature, and your cheeks are flustered into a sweet pink, your eyes have little stars in them, and they are neatly underlined by a blue-dark grey-black crescent. After a few days, the spotless white disappears to reveal a yellow colour chart, a little ball of sunshine in the dull winter, and your hair takes on an original hue, between dark beige and dead wood brown. The hands and the feet, not always covered by the blanket, harmoniously punctuate the body with a touch of purple, and the delicate pink palimpsest of the nails subtly reminds us of the pills which behold us from the coffee table!

THANK YOU, gastroenteritis, thank you ever so much!